Maybe it's because I'm feeling better, but it seems like I have a million things to do. I have a lot of time, but lil boy seems to take a lot of it with feeding and holding and snuggling, which I love. And I've been doing some light housework, folding clothes, dishes, straightening up. Dr said no housework, but I think things that only require sitting or walking around are ok. I'm not vacuuming or lifting anything heavy. I learned my lesson about heavy lifting last week when I bled like crazy. I need to finish the taxes and send them in. Nathan keeps bringing up things to add in, like sales tax on our car among other things. Maybe it's better to wait a couple of days to make sure we got everything. I need to address and send out announcements. I would love to send one to my blogger friends. Just email your address and you'll get one. If I run out, I'll get more. I need to finish papers for lil boy's health insurance, which I have to wait until Tues or Wed when I should get his birth certificate in the mail. I need to... hmm... I was sure there was something else. Nathan didn't do so great last night. He refused to get up at all. He sort of redeemed himself by getting up at 6 am and letting me sleep as long as I wanted, which was till 10:30 am when my breasts felt like they were going to explode. He fed the baby a bottle of pumped milk, so I had to pump when I got up.
This leads me to share my thoughts on breastfeeding (BFing). It is so hard! I know it's good for the baby and for me, and I am going to continue, but dang it's hard. And I am fortunate that lil boy had no problems learning how to latch. It's hard to wake up at 12 am, fed till 12:30, sleep till 2 am, then do it all again, and that's a good one. It's really hard to feed at 2 am, then stay up till 4 am and feed again, and maybe sleep at 5 am till 6 am. He bites (gummy bites) which hurts like hell. I don't know how I will be able to continue when he gets teeth, maybe just pump? Maybe he will learn to not bite. Even though he is a good latcher, when he is really hungry, he gets so excited that it takes him a while to get started, making him more mad, making it take longer, more mad, longer,... I do love the bonding time and how he is so happy and peaceful (sometimes) and just looks at me. And it's nice not to have to make bottles in the middle of the night, especially since our bedroom is upstairs. And my breasts get so full. It's very painful. And I'm finding that when I pump, even though I only pump when I'm going to miss a feeding, and I only pump 1 oz from each breast for a 2 oz bottle, when my milk comes in after pumping, it comes in hard and fast and is more painful. It will be nice tomorrow to take a break from pumping. I'm going to try to make one bottle a day just to get a little supply, and so Nathan can do a feeding if I'm sleeping once in a while. I'm setting small goals, 3 months, then 6, 9, 12. I would like to do 12, so we'll see.
I realize sometimes that I don't gush a lot about how happy I am with my baby, but let me assure you all that I am. I love him more than I can express in words. I would do anything for him. I have nightmares about something bad happening to him. I love to talk to him and watch him seem to listen. I have more patience with him than I thought I could with anyone. Who else would I sit up all night with screaming in my face and be thinking how much I love him? So I'm taking this moment to say I love being a mom, I love my son, and I love my new life. I also will love when he sleeps a little better, but that will come in time.