I feel dumb

I guess everyone is allowed to be wrong sometimes, and I know I can't be perfect. But boy it would be nice to be perfect. While I was on maternity leave, my replacement did some calculations. Yesterday, I looked over them and too quickly said they were wrong and told the people concerned that they were wrong. Then I looked at them more, and I realized that they were right. So I had to go back and say I was wrong. Oh well. I would rather admit being wrong than people think there is a major problem with a piece of equipment when there is really not a problem.

Mommyhood

It really breaks my heart when SIL tells me that Boo cried all morning. I know that she is wonderful with him and would do anything in her power to console him. But I wonder, if I were there, would he still cry? Sometimes, yes, he would cry for me too, but sometimes, he might want his momma. Maybe I'm silly. I just never knew I could love somebody so much. I never knew I would want to stay home with a baby. I'm ok working. And if I stayed home, I know I would get frustrated sometimes. It's hard to explain. I wouldn't get frustrated with the baby. It's just very tiring. But I would still rather stay home with him. But that's not in the cards right now. My goal is that for baby #2, I want to stay home for a while.

Saddest story ever

This is truly the saddest story I've ever read in my life. This woman has endured what I can't imagine, the loss of three children. I might have to read her book. I am sharing this to remind us all that is spite of life's trials and storms, we all truly blessed with each day we are here with our family and friends.

Warning - This story is very sad. Don't read it if you aren't in a good place to read it, either physically or emotionally.

http://lynnettekraft.blogspot.com/

Answer to Lisa's question

Lisa asked if I bought a breast pump. The answers are just what I did and why. I just thought I would share with everyone. If you don't want to read about BFing, please skip this post and join us tomorrow.

I bought the Medela Pump in Style metro bag pump. I really like it. I think buying a pump makes a lot of sense. You could borrow, but what do you do if it goes out? Plus if you have another child, you will need one anyway. Plus after reading information on why the companies strongly suggest single users, I bought one for myself. You could rent, as the rentals must be multiple user pumps, but since I plan on BFing for one year, the cost of buying a pump is justified. Plus, the cost of formula feeding is very high and buying a pump will make sense even if you only BF a couple of months. .

Pumping is a big part of BFing, especially for a working mom. You want it to be easy, comfortable, and quick for BFing to work out. I've found that it's working out very well for me with no problems. I am very fortunate to have a private office at work.

I also have a few recommendations for any pump user, whether borrower, renter, or owner

1. Buy at least one extra set of parts - bottles, connectors, tubing, etc. One of my first days back, I forgot some of the parts. I had to go home for the day because I couldn't pump without the parts. And as any new mom knows, you can only go so long without feeding or pumping. Also, you don't want to have to wash stuff every night.
2. Medela sells pump part wipes. They are great for when I need to wash the parts between pumping sessions and either don't have time or don't feel like washing in the bathroom at work.
3. ***!!!***!!! Make it so you can pump hands free!!!! I found it near impossible to pump both sides at the same time. You would have to hold the bottles and somehow still be able to adjust the pump, and turn it off and on... impossible! I bought Easy Expression Bustier. http://www.easyexpression.com/ I use this every time and love it. I got size medium and wear bra 34/36C and it is fine. Some pumps come with straps for hands-free, and they may be fine too, but the bustier is super easy and quick to put on.

I pump twice a day at work, and it takes about 15 minutes. I have to be relaxed, comfortable, and assured of privacy when I do it, or nothing will come out. It helps to have baby pictures to look at. I've also started putting up the do not disturb sign. It freaks me out when people knock on the door and try to come in. Door is locked, but I worry I might forget to lock it one day... That would be bad. You must have a door that will lock. I think things are different for every woman, but hopefully this will help some fellow BFing pumping moms.

I will take any questions on this that anyone has. Maybe you can learn from my mistakes.

Still sick

Little boy is still sick. He has been pretty happy, so that's good. I just hope he gets better soon. And now I am getting sick. This swine flu thing has me freaked out. I guess as long as we don't have a fever, then we don't have it.

When the door is closed...

When the door is closed... that means I am busy... I'm glad I have a lock on the door at work because people always knock and then try to open it while I'm pumping. I swear I only do it twice a day, and it takes 15 minutes people. I guess I need to go back to hanging a do not disturb sign. Boo is still sick, but he doesn't seem quite as miserable. The meds seem to be helping him. He had a couple of nasty coughing fits that make me almost have a heart attack. He has a hard time catching his breath. Paulina has him today, and I trust that she will take good care of him. Of course I would rather be there, but I really need to work. Lots to do.

Sick baby

Chesley has been sick all weekend. It's just so sad seeing him not feel good. He has a nasty cough and congestion. We took him to the pedi this morning. That place was seriously packed. In the waiting room he coughed so much he threw up all over himself. So we changed his clothes. Then he did it again. Then he had to be naked. People probably thought we were terrible. Dr said he just has a sinus infection, so we got antibiotics and cough meds. Nathan is home with him this morning, and I got to come to work for a little while, and then I'm going home.

Cutest baby in the world

Playin with my daddy

Hangin out in my chair

Lovin on my momma

My life

So I've come to realize that every day in my new life as a mommy is a new adventure. I'm always busy doing something, but as long as I have plenty of baby love time, it's ok. And the house stays just clean enough and neat enough to be called clean and neat. Tonight the family is coming over for gumbo... yummy. A decent amount of work, but not bad. It's simmering in the pot right now.

Boo is very congested and sick with a cold. I'm taking him to the dr on Mon just for them to listen to his lungs and check him out. We are doing everything we can do, humidifier, nasal drops, aspirator, warm bath, tylenol at bed time.

Another short post

So here is another short post just to say we are all doing ok. Chesley is with Paulina and Mya today. Tonight I'm going to dinner with the girls. I have so much fun with them. Part of me wants to stay home and have baby time, but I do need time with my friends, and Chesley needs some good daddy time with Nathan. It's different for them to be together without me.

Mya-ism... She ALWAYS talks about her birthday. She can't wait. It's going to be June 13. She will be three.

"Mya, what do you want for your birthday?"
"MY BIRF-DAY BIRF-DAY!!"
"Do you want cake? What kind?"
"Two cakes!!"
"What do you want for your birthday?"
"GIFT!!"
"What kind of gift?"
"ICE CREAM!! CAKE!! TB FOR MY ROOM!! (television) "
"What else?"
"SCAWY MOOBIES!!!" (scary movies)

So fun!

Another busy day

I'm really trying to not stress about how much work I have to do. I'm not getting many hours in at work. Mom has Chesley today, but I don't want to leave him there too long because Mom gets tired and she's had company at her house for a week. So I'm pretty much just keeping my head above water at work. Hopefully next week things will go better and I'll get more done.

I had a nice conversation with my dad's aunt last night asking her questions about her sister, my dad's mother. Dad grew up with his paternal grandparents and never knew his mother. She had 8 children that she gave up. She must have had a very hard and sad life. I've struggled with how she could do that. And some of her children had a very hard time. After having a child, I really can't imagine how a mother could be so terrible to her child. My aunt didn't really understand either. She didn't have much contact with her sister. It's a crazy story that I'll try to post more on later. I think I could write a book on their family.

Busy

Life is very busy for me right now. Work is busy, home is busy. Mya is sick today, so Paulina couldn't keep Chesley. It's better if we keep the kids separate if one of them has a high fever. So we'll see what tomorrow brings. We slept late this morning, and now Chesley is with mom for the afternoon.

Family

We are still having our family reunion. We've been hanging out at mom's house all weekend just chillin, eatin, and passin kids around. Mya spent the night the other night, and boy was that fun. Two kids... Wow... She behaved very well, and we had a good time. She is very sweet with Chesley. Now Chesley is with Daddy hanging out outside. It's super hot!

Jammin

Me n Chesley are jammin to Alice in Chains. We are about to go to mom's house to hang out. I think it's gonna rain big time today, so we will probably stay in. Have a good day.

Family Reunion

So the family reunion started yesterday. Most of the activites are at my mom's house. We have 5 people staying at our house. They got in last night and got all settled in. I'm at work for a little while right now. We are having a good time. I've been worried about it, but it's all going to work out fine. Chesley is at mom's house with everybody right now being passed around and spoiled. He is so rotten, and I love it. I tried to lay him down this morning, and he cried when his butt touched the bed... There will be plenty of times in his life when he will not get his way, so for now, he gets his way.

Daddy's thoughts

So I like to share Daddy's thoughts sometimes. First of all, we have tons of nicknames for our son. He probably won't even know his real name. Our favorite one is Boo. Daddy just comes out with the sweetest things sometimes. Last night when we were going to bed, and little boy was sleeping aleady, Daddy said, "I don't know if I want Boo to grow up. He can grow up to be about one year old." We just love him so much and he is so sweet.

Getting better

So I had to make a tough decision yesterday. I made it and followed through and now we'll see how things go.

We bought a Baby Bjorn carrier and it's so fun to use. Chesley hasn't quite figured it out. He can't chew on his hands when he's in it, and he can't wiggle a lot, so he gets tired after a while. Last night I wore it and him while I cooked dinner, and he fell asleep. So sweet.

Please pray

Please pray for me and my family as we are having some issues. I wish I could pour my heart out to all of you, but I can't. Everyone is fine and the baby is doing great. We are just having some problems. I really hope that these storms will pass and we can all get along with each other and be happy.

I'm at work trying to be a good employee but I'm having a hard time concentrating with all that is going on. I just hate for people to be upset with me. I try really hard to please everybody, but I know it's just not possible. I'm going out to lunch, and maybe when I come back I can get my mind into work at least long enough to add up a list of numbers and reply to some emails.

Happy Easter

Well it's getting late on Easter night. I just got all my necessary things done and I'm about to read for a minute a go to bed. I hope everyone had a great day this day of remembrance of our Lord's rising from the dead. Now in the (finally) quiet of the evening I can reflect on what this means. I did explain to Chesley what Easter is about. I'm sure he understood completely. He is the smartest kid ever born. And the cutest. And the sweetest. I thought I was going to have to fight some of Nathan's family to get the baby and go home. It's really sweet to see how much they love him. They are crazy about him. He got stuffed bunnies, candy, money, clothes, and toys for Easter. I have a piggy bank for him that I'll start putting money people get him in. We had a busy but nice weekend.

Good night.

Award!

Thanks The Kylers and Jessica for this award!



Here Are The Rules:

1. Link Back to the person who gave you the award.

2. List 7 Things you LOVE!

3. Link to 7 Blogs and let them know you have an Award Waiting for them on your blog!



7 things I love



1. Family and friends. Of course my #1 love being my wonderful beautiful happy son!!

2. Dr. Pepper. I missed it during pregnancy. I am making up for it now. Only one a day, but mmmm yummy.

3. Txt messaging. I am not really a talk on the phone kind of person, so txting is perfect. Say what you need to say and go on about your day!

4. Blogging. I love reading your blogs and writing on mine. I don't have as much time these days as I would like. And I have a hard time blogging at all on weekends, but I do enjoy it.

5. Staying at home. I love my days at home with my son. I like just hanging out, talking, playing, nursing, sleeping at our house and not going anywhere at all.

6. Makeup. Go from looking blah to looking great in 5 minutes.

7. Music!! Rock, classical, Christian, choral. I love to sing along. I love to sing to my little boy.



7 blogs I LOVE

1. http://thenewlifeofnancy.blogspot.com/

2. http://www.mycharmingkids.net/

3. http://novilla.blogspot.com/

4. http://preachmanswife.blogspot.com/

5. http://lifegoeson-mylife.blogspot.com/

6. http://caressag.blogspot.com/

7. http://adornable.blogspot.com/

Counting down

I'm counting down the minutes till it's time to go home... And it's only 8:15. Nathan is off today, but he wanted Paulina to come. No comment on that besides that it doesn't make me happy. And he really didn't want to get up this morning to entertain the baby so I could go to work. I could have gotten here much earlier. But I'm still leaving around 3pm. I have a lot that needs to be done to prepare for company coming. I was going to have Paulina come tomorrow to help me, but I really just want to spend time with the baby. I don't want to miss anything with him. So I might tell her not to come. I will just get done what I can get done while he is napping. As long as the beds are made, towels are washed, and there is milk for the little girl, I think that will be good. The house is clean since Nathan vacuums and mops all the time to try to get the fleas to die... AND THEY WON'T!! If the end of the world comes, or the end of the human race, you can be sure that the fleas will be the last sole survivors.

Harder

For some reason, this week has been harder than last week. I really miss my boy. Maybe it's because things have settled in a little at work, and my days go by a little slower. We do have lots of fun in the evenings. It would be even better if Daddy could spend some time with us instead of spraying for fleas every single night. Chesley has been sleeping from 10 pm till 5 am the past few nights. It's so wonderful. He woke up happy and smiling and kicking, but when I changed his diaper, he was upset. Then he pigged out and was happy. I miss our days of laying around and spending all day together. With all the craziness coming up with Easter and with our family reunion, we won't get that any time soon. Maybe Saturday I will try to not go anywhere all day. I might be able to run my errands today and tomorrow and spend Friday at home too. But we might have to leave the house again this weekend for flea spraying.... So tired of damn fleas.

Hope everyone has a great day.

Sweet baby love

So last night I didn't do anything except get me some sweet baby love. We sang and talked and read books and laid down together and nursed... So much fun. Daddy sprayed for fleas. Hopefully that's the end of that. Today I'm leaving work early to get my hair done. I would rather get it done early afternoon and be home at the same time. I don't think I could handle not seeing my boy till 6 or 7 at night. Plus Nathan doesn't get home until about 5:30. I think that is too long for Paulina to have to stay at the house unless it's a work emergency or something. She was pretty late this morning, but I didn't mind at all. I just got me some extra boy love... I should try to get here earlier, but that will come in time.

Ready to go home

I will try not to post everyday about how ready I am to go home... but... today I will. I have a meeting at 2pm that I called, so I guess I have to go to it... Then I am going home to my boy.

A little prayer

Say a little prayer for 5 kitty souls. My SIL's cat had her 5 kittens and all 5 died within a week. 2 died after the first day. 2 more after the second. And the last lived for about 5 days. They were very small. She was upset, as was her teenage son and 3 year old daughter. She called the vet after they starting dying, but they said there was nothing they could do. The momma cat was laying on top of the kittens and smothering them. Nature is cruel sometimes. Paulina took the last kitten away and bottle fed it for a few days before it died. It's like the momma cat knew that the babies weren't going to make it, so she didn't want to waste energy caring for them. It's a hard thing for kids to understand. Animals are very different than humans in this regard. So for the little kitties, may you find peace and joy in that kitty playground in the sky.

Busy bee

So I had a pretty busy weekend. Friday I stayed home with Chesley and cleaned house and had sweet baby time. Saturday I went to a baby shower and to hang out with my mom at her friend's house. Nathan sprayed for fleas... again... so we had to stay away. We STILL are having problems, even after vacuuming 100 times and throwing away furniture and rugs and spraying twice, inside, outside, dogs, and cats. But there are stray cats, possums, dogs, and racoons. So that is a problem. A major one. Yesterday we went to church. I still can't stand to leave him in the nursery. So we go to church and bring him in with us. He makes it through the singing part fine, then when the pastor starts talking, Chesley starts fussing, so I go to the nursery with him to nurse and snuggle. I want to make it through church, but I really don't want to have to pump on Sunday. That's the dillema. I would either have to pump in the morning, when I would rather have baby time, or I would have to feed him stored milk and pump right after church, when we usually spend time with family. Maybe I can leave him in the nursery, go in during church to nurse, then come back into church. But then I would need to sit in the back of the room, and there is never any room in the back.. You know, back-row Baptists and all... So... we'll see.... Then Nathan's parents came over to visit in the afternoon.

We are regressing with Chesley's sleep. He WAS sleeping through the night, at least till 4 or 5 am. Last night he was up at 1 am, then 5 am, then 8 am. Yes, I was pretty late this morning to work. We did cereal for a few nights, but he was throwing up, so we stopped. Maybe we'll try again.

Hope everyone is having a good Monday.

I hope every1 has a

I hope every1 has a great day.

Chesley is takin a nap

Chesley is takin a nap n im doin laundry. We r goin 2 a baby shower l8r 4 a friend. Then we have 2 stay out of house 4 daddy 2 spray 4 bugs.

For serious baby picture lovers only

If you are really nuts about my sweet lovey boy, you can check out all his recent pics at http://picasaweb.google.com/holliej1181/March2009#

Photoedits

Here are some pics I edited. I'm not a professional by any means, but I think they look pretty good.

Ready

I'm ready for more time with my baby. Work is going well, and I'm doing my best to stay focused, but I just can't get enough time with my love. I'm glad tomorrow is Thursday and I'm off for three days after that. I came home today and we nursed and then took a long nap together. So sweet and precious. So now I probably won't sleep good tonight, but I was really tired from waking up at 4 am, even though he went right back to sleep. Right now Nathan is holding a sleeping baby and watching tv.