Hmmm...

Not sure what to say today. I am so worried about going back to work that it is trying to ruin my last week at home. I really really don't want to go back. I wish there was some way to make money at home or win the lottery or Nathan to get another job. Of course that is all nonsense. There are ways to make money at home but not enough. Then I try to convince myself that going back to work is not that bad... Then I feel bad for trying to convince myself because I feel like I'm trying to harden my heart against my child. My MIL yesterday really tried to convince me to stay home... sell our house... I know she meant well, but it's hard enough to go to work without someone making me feel worse about it. Some friends at church and our pastor really seem to understand what I am feeling. Their kind words and prayers are very much appreciated. The thought of selling everything so we can live on Nathan's income have definitely gone through my mind a hundred times. And he does make a good income. But even those things take time. So I'm going to go back to work. I really don't want to try to sell everything and move... That would be very stressful. I think that would be worse than going back to work. See what I'm doing to myself? This is terrible. Ok. I'm going to enjoy my baby and banish these thoughts... Or at least try to.