Sunday, September 26, 2010

The Right Words to Say

Yesterday I met an amazing woman. I was playing outside with Chesley, with him wearing only a diaper. He was playing in the dirt and water puddles. We wandered over to the park. A few minutes later, two women and a little boy came over. Great, I'm thinking, my kid in only a diaper. The older women, probably mid forties, asked me if Boo was a boy or girl, then how old he is. Then she said, "my son would have been that age." Oh, no. Would have been? He died shortly after his first birthday after a surgery. He had Trisomy 21, she said. He was born without a stomach, and in surgery they tried to recreate a stomach and esophagus, but made some mistakes that cost him his life. After this, I wasn't sure what to say. I asked her his name, and her eyes lit up when she told me "Carl Joseph" and described how he looked, red curly hair. Then as we watched Chesley play, she told me a little more about Carl, and I asked a few questions about what he liked to do. She told me he was very active and had just learned to sit up by himself around his birthday. She was teary-eyed but happy to talk about her son. She showed me some pictures and was very proud. How blessed I am to have a happy (mostly) healthy child. Every day with our children is truly a gift to be savored.


  1. I'm sure it meant a lot to her that you let her talk about her son. So hard to know what to say, but I think you did a great job. I know she appreciated you asking!

  2. *tear*

    You want to be so happy with your own child in a situation like that and not feel utterly sorry for the one who's childless. God has a reason and a purpose for everything. I try to tell myself that whenever I hear of a child's passing.


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